What words do you associate with the word "desperate"? Are the words that come to mind primarily positive or negative?

Generally speaking, our culture perceives "desperation" negatively. For example, when I was a singles pastor I noticed that some singles were classified by others as "desperate" and thus perceived as dangerously needy. However, desperation is not limited to singles. I have known spouses who felt like there imprisoned in a desperate situation from which there was no escape.

Henry David Thoreau wrote, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." In other words, most of us exist in a state of desperation, but we are afraid to admit it. We "hang on in quiet desperation."

However, desperation is not always perceived negatively. Desperation can also communicate the need for bold, daring, determined action. Consider the phrase, "desperate times call for desperate measures."

Though there is the rare positive use, for the most part, our culture views desperation as an undesirable weakness. We pride ourselves in our self-sufficiency. The constant message we hear is this: look competent, act tough, be bold. Don't reveal any hint of brokenness, neediness, or vulnerability. And if you do feel desperate, keep it to yourself! Continue to hang on in quiet desperation, and leave us decent folk alone.

In the story before us, blind Bartimaeus is a desperate man surrounded by decent people. He doesn't have the luxury to be decent. His prayer is a prayer of desperation. And it is his desperate prayer that Jesus honors.

The Story of Blind Bartemaeus

Just before their arrival in Jerusalem, Jesus and his disciples make one last stop at Jericho, a city located 15 miles northeast of their final destination. However, there is a another person on the roads of Jericho, a blind beggar named Bartimaeous. Anticipating the generosity of pilgrims headed toward the Holy city, Bartimaeus sits by roadside. His disability forces him to rely on others for charity. Therefore, he sits with his cloak - most likely his only earthly possession - stretched out on the ground around his feet to catch a few coins, that is, to collect alms.

Bartmaeus is blind, but he is not deaf. He can't see, but he hears the crowds around him speak of the arrival of Jesus of Nazareth. Having heard this, he shouts out, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Son of David is a messianic title. Though he is unable to see, he is able to see what others do not - Jesus, who is from nowheresville (Nazareth) is God's promised messiah.

The decent folk around Bartimaeus are put off by his desperate prayer. They attempt to silence him, but he shouts all the more loudly. He is not concerned that his desperate pleas are off-putting to those around him. He is a man who knows only desperation. He recognizes that desperate times call for desperate measures. He takes advantage of his only chance to gain the attention of the messiah. He could care less what the decent folk around him think.

Bartimaeus' desperate pleas reach Jesus' ears and he stops dead in his tracks. Jesus tells his disciples, "Call him here." The crowd quickly changes its tune. On Jesus' behalf they say to blind Bartimaeus, "Take heart; get up, he is calling you." Having received this invitation, Bartimaeus "throws off his cloak" (and all the change he had collected there and his only source of warmth in the evening) and comes to Jesus. He abandons his only possession in order to follow Jesus.

Jesus asks him, "What do you want me to do for you?" It is interesting to note that this is the same question put to Jesus' disciples, James and John, in the preceding scene in which they respond, ""Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory" (Mark 10:37). Unlike Jesus' closest followers, Bartimaeus does not want fame and glory, but simply answers, "Rabboni,[1] I want to see again." Jesus responds by healing Bartimaeus.

Practicing Desperation

Prayer is many things, but one thing prayer is is an act of desperation - the soul's sincere desire expressed in a cry for help. Bartimaeous is desperate and not afraid to admit it. He demonstrates this in his willingness to risk public ridicule and his persistance when others try to discourage him. Why is he so persistent? Because he believes that Jesus is the Christ and can do for him what he cannot possibly do for himself.

And yet, it is so difficult - because of our pride and our cultural setting - to admit need. Pastor Matt Woodley writes, "What is it about saying "I need" that makes me cringe with shame?"

I don't like admitting my needs, and I certainly don't want others to consider me a needy human being. I'd rather say, "I'll give" or "I'm in charge" or "I'm okay" or "I can." But "I need" sounds so utterly human: dependent, vulnerable and at times even downright desperate.[2]

Unfortunately, my aversion to "I need" thwarts my relationship with God because on one level prayer is rooted in need. One of the most common biblical words to describe how humans communicate with God is the word cry or the phrase cry out... Cry and cry out always imply urgency, neediness and even desperation. In the Old Testament the Hebrew words for cry literally mean "to shriek" (zawak), "to hoiler" (shawvah) and "to creak or make a shrill sound" (rinnaw).[3]

While enslaved in Egypt, Israel cried out to the Lord and the Lord heard and responded because of his compassion (Exodus 2:23; 3:7, 9). Out of their desperation, they put decency aside and cried out to God.

Our problem is that we are desperate people who wish to be perceived as "decent" folk. Matt Woodley believes this is the problem with Jesus' disciples.

The people around Jesus (i.e., the disciples) are trying hard not to be desperate people. They are the 'decent" people--the untroubled, unfazed, righteous and very cool followers of Jesus. Typically, desperate people repulse decent people. So in this Gospel story the decent people tell Bartimaeus to shut up and go away.[4]

Our challenge is to not capitulate to our world's message to look competent and act tough but rather, to recognize in humility that we are needy, desperate people.

We need help, and we cry out, "God, help. I need you. We need you." And then God says, "It's about time! It's about time you banished the illusion of your independence, your pride and your insecurity. You were born a needy human being; you will die a needy human being; and between those two great bookmarks of birth and death, you will live as a needy human being. The secret is out: you need. Like Bartimaeus, you are a desperate human being. But I am also generous. So come, ask, call to me and cry out."[5]

An old African American prayer says, "O Lord, we come this morning knee-bowed and body-bent before Thy throne of grace ... like empty pitchers to a full fountain."[6] This is a prayer of humility. Humility recognizes its limitations, acknowledges its emptiness, and seeks to be filled with God's Spirit to help us do what we cannot do ourselves.

In harmony with this African American prayer and Blind Bartemaeus' plea, Woodly admonishes us to "practice desperation."

We're proud. We don't ask because admitting our need and asking for help makes us look incompetent, incomplete, broken and flawed--and our pride resents appearing needy. So pride whispers, "You're not that bad. Desperation--my, my, what a strong and repulsive word![7]

He ends his remarks by stating: "I'm slowly learning the gospel truth about crying out to God: embracing our weakness and then crying out to God unleashes God's power and mercy."[8] "I'm slowly learning that desperation is a continuous human state that leads me to cry out to God habitually, without shame or regret."[9]

Will we admit our need or pretend to be self-sufficient? Will we act like we have it together or own our brokenness? Can we practice desperation or must we continue to put on a façade of decency? Strangely enough, we will not pray as we ought unless we are willing to admit our weakness, brokenness, and desperation. We need God in our lives. It is for this reason that we pray.

When we are willing to put away our masks of self-sufficiency we can then "Cry out" to God as if our very lives depended on it.

So we can draw some conclusions about prayer: (1) Prayer isn't always neat or pretty--sometimes it's very messy; (2) prayer isn't always quiet--sometimes it's very loud; (3) prayer isn't always calm--sometimes it's very passionate. Prayer involves coming to God in the mess of life, the confusion of life, the pain and agony of life, and crying out for help. Prayer begins with these words: God, help! God, I (or we) need you! God designed prayer for desperate human beings.

This should be a relief because we often assume that prayer requires a long series of prerequisites: Get in the right mood. Find the right place. Compose the correct words. Conjure up the right feelings. Banish distractions. Rid your life of ugly emotions like hate and anger and ust. But in the biblical story the first rule about prayer or crying out to God is that "prayer begins where we are, not where we think we should be."[10]

It is not the "decent" folk that Jesus responds to, but the desperate. Elsewhere Jesus says, "I've not come for those who are well, but those who are sick." Jesus is looking for people willing to admit their spiritual need, for God gives grace to the humble, but disregards the proud and self-sufficient.

But it is the blind beggar who wins Jesus over and gets what he wants. The blind beggar shows us our proper disposition before Christ and his question. We too are poor, blind beggars. We too need to come before God in our brokenness, helplessness, blindness, and poverty. We too need to call out to Christ to take pity on us. If we dare renounce our egos and selfishness and beg for God's help, we too will hear God ask, "What do you want me to do for you?"

The question is beautiful because it not only shows God's desire to help us, but it reveals the very nature of God. In Jesus, we have a God who is humble, loving, and generous, a God who longs to serve humanity, especially in its brokenness, poverty, and blindness...

If we come before God as the broken beggars we are, we can trust that Christ will restore our vision, and, like Bartimaeus, we will see God.[11]

There's a reason that one of the most recorded songs of all time is "Amazing Grace." When we are willing to admit our need, then God's grace and mercy is able to fill us. We can sing with blind Bartimaeus, "I once was blind, but now I see."

It is the decent folk that block Bartimaeus from approaching Jesus. If matters were left up to "the wisdom of crowds" then Bartimaeus would have been silenced and never given a hearing by Jesus. But the beautiful truth in this story is that the one in need finds his way to Jesus, even though all the disciples of Jesus try to block his way. And a disciple who impedes the way to the Master is a contradiction in terms. A disciple who is true to his or her calling says to the one in need: "Take heart, rise, he is calling you."[12]

© Richard J. Vincent, 2009