A few years ago, an engaged couple spoke to me about their desire to incorporate unique scripture readings in their wedding ceremony. They did not want to use the conventional scriptures (usually Genesis 2 and/or 1 Corinthians 13). I invited them to consider using a collection of passages from the Song of Songs - the true "love song" of the Bible. They let me pick the passages, and this is what I chose:

BELOVED: Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine,
your anointing oils are fragrant,
your name is perfume poured out;
therefore the maidens love you.
Draw me after you, let us make haste...

My beloved is to me a bag of myrrh
that lies between my breasts...

LOVER: Ah, you are beautiful, my love;
ah, you are beautiful;
your eyes are doves.
Ah, you are beautiful, my beloved,
truly lovely.

BELOVED: Sustain me with raisins,
refresh me with apples;
for I am faint with love.
that his left hand were under my head,
and that his right hand embraced me! ...

LOVER: Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away....
let me see your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely...

You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride,
you have ravished my heart with a glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace...

BELOVED: This is my beloved and this is my friend...

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine...

I am my beloved's, and his desire is for me.

LOVER: Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm;
for love is strong as death,
passion fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
a raging flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If one offered for love
all the wealth of one's house,
it would be utterly scorned.[1]

This is passionate stuff - certainly not what many expect to come from the heart of the Old Testament. (And I didn't include some of the steamier parts!) I remember at the wedding rehearsal, when our Associate Pastor read this, she got flustered and would wave her hand toward her face, as if to cool herself down.

The Song of Songs

In the heart of the Old Testament is a song that celebrates the goodness and beauty of eros - passionate and fulfilling love. The song is identified by the superlative title, "The Song of Songs" - a Hebraic way to say that this is the greatest song of all. The best song in the Bible is a love song that exults in the joy and delight of eros.

Though the song takes place in a fallen world - a world marred by sin - the love experienced and expressed takes us back to the Garden of Eden, to Paradise itself. In the Song of Songs - just as in the opening chapters of the Bible - we encounter a man and a woman in a garden, naked and unashamed. At the pinnacle of their love-making, the man declares, "I come to my garden, my sister, my bride; I gather my myrrh with my spice, I eat my honeycomb with my honey, I drink my wine with my milk." This is followed by the divine blessing: "Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love" (Song of Songs 5:1). Just as in Eden, God pronounces a blessing on the delightful and fulfilling love of eros:

What they are doing is good, wholesome, right and proper. It is the natural physical consummation of their love. Their abandonment in self-giving is thoroughly approved and endorsed. There is to be no reserve, no restraint, but a complete and happy enjoyment of each other in their mutual love. They are to become "drunk" with love-making, they are to be inebriated, on a physical and emotional high.[2]

This divine blessing on erotic love was recognized by the early church. The Song of Songs is one of the first biblical books to receive a full commentary.[3] During the medieval period, St. Bernard also wrote an extensive commentary on this book.

However, some throughout church history have been uncomfortable with the erotic expressions offered in the Song of Songs. In an attempt to obscure the plain meaning of the poem, they have argued that the song simply stands as an allegory of God's love for humans. Though the song may rightly be interpreted as an allegory of divine love, "there is nothing in the text itself that limits us to allegory."[4]

This does not therefore make the allegorical reading wrong. But it reminds us that even our allegorical reading is dependent for its power on the ordinary human experience of eros. If we cannot let Song of Songs speak of literal human love, it will lose its power to speak to us of the love of God.[5]

Countryman rightly argues that the Song of Songs celebrates and sanctifies erotic, passionate love. The goodness and beauty of eros allow us to recognize that eros has its source and goal in the Author of eros. "Here the Song's real importance to the Holy Scriptures and to Christian faith begins to become apparent. From first to last, the Bible portrays God as passionate."[6]

The Passion of God

Throughout the sacred scriptures, God is pictured as the divine pursuer, wooing and winning a bride (Isaiah 54:5; 62:2-5; Ephesians 5:29-32; Revelation 19:7). This divine pursuit finds its ultimate embodiment in Christ, whose love is evident in his passion. Through his self-giving sacrifice at the cross, Jesus passionately pursues his bride, paying the highest dowry possible. He gives everything he has - mind, body, and affections - to woo and win us.[7]

Clearly, we are objects of God's passion. God loves us more than we love God. This divine eros is most evident in the vulnerability God demonstrates in pursuing us - a vulnerability that leads to the cross. In eros love, there is almost always one individual who has a stronger commitment than the other. The one who possesses a stronger commitment is at the whims of the one with a weaker commitment. His or her fulfillment depends on the response of the other. This leads to a vulnerability that risks for the sake of the other. Brummer points out that

in creating human persons in order to love them. God necessarily assumes vulnerability in relation to them. In fact, in this relation he becomes even more vulnerable than we do, since he cannot count on the steadfastness of our love in the way we can count on his steadfastness.[8]

And the fickle nature of our love is on display at the cross. But God's fiery passion - God's intense love - is also on display!

The passion of eros is strong. Indeed, only eros can fully communicate the intensity, power, ecstasy, exclusiveness, and demand for mutual response that God's love possesses. Even our unfaithfulness is not an obstacle for the God who pursues an adulteress bride (Hosea 3:1-2).

It is for this reason that the Song of Songs is in the Bible. The ideal passion of eros best reflects God's intense passion for his bride. Clearly, the story of God's love for his bride is far more like a fairy tale than a theological treatise. It is best expressed in the language of eros - the fiery passion of divine love. Though agape is certainly an aspect of God's love for us, it is interesting that we speak of Jesus' sacrificial self-giving at the cross, not as "an agape play" but as "a passion play."

This personal passionate love was celebrated by God's people. The prophet Jeremiah said of this God, "You have seduced me, and I was enticed" (Jeremiah 20:7). The apostle John gloried in this personal expression of love, and identified himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved" (John 13:23; 19:26; 20:2; 21:7, 20).

It is a wonderful thing to be an object of personal love. Brummer writes, "Personal value and identity are bestowed on me by the fact that others consider me irreplaceable to them.

To be esteemed by another secures one's own sense of self-esteem, and gives body to one's own sense of identity. To know that one is loved is to be able to anchor one's own existence in the affections of others. "Who am I?" "I am the person that Mother loves" or "that Jill loves" or "that God loves." It means that my actions matter, not only to me but also to someone else in the outside world, and that therefore they have a significance which is not solely solipsistic.

For religious believers this applies especially to fellowship with God. The ultimate value of my very existence is bestowed on it by the fact that God loves me and not merely my services apart from me.[9]

There are many identities we can embrace, but our ultimate identity is that of "beloved of God."  And this is not just agape love, but the family love of storge, the relationship nurturing love of philia, and the passionate love of eros. In an act of the divine will, God makes God's fulfillment depend upon our loving response, for "whom we choose to love determines the identity for which we assume responsibility."[10] This causes Brummer to joyously proclaim that "ultimately I am the person that God loves.

Furthermore, in loving me God makes my good his very own concern, and since my good is identical with my loving him, he desires my love. "When God loves, he desires nothing but to be loved, since he loves us for no other reason than to be loved, for he knows that those who love him are blessed in their very love." In this way I know that my good and my love are of infinite value, because they are of value to God.[11]

A Passion for God

Eros reminds us that religion is about passion, and not just the intellect. It forces us to remember the power of passion: "The church itself has a poor record of recognizing the supremacy of love. It boils down to the fatal mistake that intellect, rather than emotion, is the governing principle of good conduct."[12] Houston diagnoses our dilemma:

What this tells us is that religion and eroticism were much related in the ancient world than perhaps we are prepared to recognize today. Yet can our sexuality really be so separate from our spirituality? Too much religion has been associated with unnatural asceticism and the repression of our emotions, as if it were all a matter of starving ourselves of our physical nature. Reason, not desire, has been the motivation of many religious people. The fear of passion and intimacy has kept them from finding fulfillment in their religious life, and The Song of Solomon seems to be an embarrassing misfit of Scripture. Love is not always seen as a godly desire."[13]

Certainly, eros is dangerous, precisely because it is so good, so powerful. Though eros can be maddening, hurtful, and imprisoning if it causes us to remain in self-centered preoccupation with our own pleasure and desires, it can also be the deepest expression of intimacy with God.

Eros is behind the great commandment to love God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind. The exclusive love we owe God (Luke 14:26) is best pictured in the marital vows we make to our spouse - "forsaking all others, I will love you as long as I live." This forsaking of all others highlights the deep exclusivity of our love for our spouse, but it does not forbid us from loving others.  

Forsaking all others... does not insulate believers from all else outside their relationship to God, nor does it prevent them from having relationships of fellowship or love with persons other than God. It only excludes others from the position in their lives which God alone can fill.[14]

Our response to God's love is similar to the abandonment of the beloved in the arms of his or her lover:

This one thing necessary can be described as a going down to the deepest level of yourself, stripping yourself naked, complete abandonment to God, self-surrender - all of which are metaphors, ways of describing the gift of self and the ecstasy of communion between lovers.[15]

We give ourselves to God in the language of eros. "What we need above all is a relationship with God. We can and must love God for God's own sake, but we can also love God for our own sake."[16]

May our hearts burn with the divine passion, for we are object of God's eternal passion. May we find our greatest joy in abandoning ourselves to God's passion in order that the same love may burn in our hearts toward God and others!

To this end, I invite you to read the select passages from the Song of Songs again, but this time, hear the voice of the Divine Lover toward you, and respond with the language of the Beloved. (Go ahead. Do it. You won't be disappointed!)

© Richard J. Vincent, 2008