I have always been particularly happy that Teknon is not exclusively composed of single Christians. Both singleness and marriage teach us of specific aspects of God's kingdom and both are necessary to reveal the fullness of God's salvation. This short devotion is a call to both the singles and the married couples within Teknon to view their calling and state in life as beneficial to the entire community of the faithful.

Because of our tendencies toward radical individualism, we tend to view our status in life as one that impacts only ourselves and no others. This, however, is not the case. Both marriage and singleness are given by God as means of grace for our own good AND for the good of others.

Married couples in the group draw attention to the fact that true love can exist among diverse individuals in the context of covenant commitment. In other words, we who are married have an obligation, not just to ourselves and our partner, but to the entire community, to demonstrate the reality of love in the midst of a loveless world -- the reality of true commitment in the midst of an apathetic and uncommitted world. We hold out the hope that life-long, committed, unconditional love can and does exist. We are the ones who publicly proclaim the message Paul calls attention to in Ephesians 5:22-33. This is a message, not primarily proclaimed through word, but through deed. We witness of Christ's marital love and bond with his imperfect church. A continued commitment to expressing this love is our way of publicly proclaiming Christ's continuing commitment to His body -- the church.

Single Christians, on the other hand, have an obligation, not just to themselves, but to the church-at-large as well. Singles witness -- through their faithful commitment to Christ, his church, and his gospel -- of the sufficiency and excellence of Christ to a restless and cynical world. They are a means of grace to all within the covenant community, witnessing of the beauty and goodness of single-minded, pure-hearted devotion to their bridegroom -- the Lord Jesus Christ. Singles are the ones who publicly proclaim the message Paul calls attention to in 1 Corinthians 7:25-35. This is a message, not primarily proclaimed through word, but through deed. Through this, "Christian singles can demonstrate to the world that the most important thing in life is not whether or not one is married, but whether or not one knows God" (Albert Hsu, "Singles at the Crossroads" 175). A continued commitment to expressing this single-minded love is the singles' way of publicly proclaiming the sufficiency and excellence of Christ to His body -- the church.

Both married and singles are necessary to fully demonstrate the reality of love -- and thus the reality of Christ -- to one another and to a watching world. Dissatisfaction with one's spouse diminishes the beauty of the acted-out sermon of Christ's love for the church. Discontentment with one's singleness diminishes the goodness of the sufficiency of Christ. Both responses are grievous errors and both belittle our Lord, his salvation, and his providence in our lives. Finally, both responses end up drawing far too much attention to ourselves and too little concern for our Lord and for others.

Our ultimate concern, no matter what our state in life, is God's agenda, not ours. "It is his cause that we must be about in the church, not our own. It is his Kingdom that we are trying to proclaim as members of the Body of Christ. To forget this is to lose the only perspective on reality that can give direction to our lives as Christians" (Charles Gallagher, "The Celibacy Myth", 131). Have you lost perspective on why you are either married or single respectively? Do you view your state in life selfishly or as a means of ministering grace to others? Are you primarily concerned about God's agenda or has His Kingdom agenda become peripheral to your own?

Our ultimate concern must be to manifest and reflect God's glory through our lives and our commitments. Every aspect of our lives must submit in some way to this ultimate concern -- including our respective roles and callings in life, whether single or married.

In light of this we must always remember that we are not married for our own sakes and we are not single for our own sakes. As stated above, both marriage and singleness are given by God as means of grace for our own good and for the good of others. We must never forget this.

Let us always support one another in the place that God has put us. May we never belittle God's calling in the lives of others. Rather, let us fully demonstrate -- through word and deed -- the rich diversity of the beauty of the body by loving one another in the state God has placed us. Both callings are necessary to demonstrate the rich fullness of God's provision for us in Christ.

One day, marriage will end. It will be replaced by ecstatic union with all of Christ's special redeemed ones.

One day singleness will end as well. It will be replaced with joys that far surpass anything that sex or any one person could provide us.

Only hope in this future glory will sustain us until that day. To lose sight of this glory is to live secularly -- and that will surely lead to frustration with one's lot in life, for no marriage is perfect and no single life is without difficult periods of loneliness.

And only faith working through love will demonstrate that we are together -- both married and singles -- waiting for the coming of our ultimate lover, the Lord Jesus Christ.

© Richard J. Vincent, July 21, 2002