Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini - Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D.
This book had me laughing out loud uncontrollably! Don't get me wrong... This doesn't mean it will do the same for you. If you are not a fan of sixth-grade bathroom humor - a kind of humor I still haven't grown out of - then this book will probably do nothing but disgust you. In fact, you should probably stop reading now so you don't lose your respect for me. Go on. Hit the "Back" button or click on one of your "favorites." I'll wait... Ok. Now for those of you unashamed to admit that words like "butt pus" (fluid derived from draining a perirectal abscess or a pilonidal cyst), "poo cobra" (fecal matter coiled around in the toilet and poking its head out of the bowl), and "blow chow" (a descriptive phrase for vomit) trip your trigger, here goes: I learned that snot - a form of mucus - does not just exist to gross out or amuse. This slimy material that lines various membranes in the body "aids in the protection of the lungs by trapping foreign particles that enter the nose during normal breathing. Mucus also makes swallowing easier and prevents stomach acid from harming your stomach wall" (76). I learned about the composition of farts: "An average fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane, and 4 percent oxygen. Less than 1 percent of its makeup is what makes a fart stink" (139). I learned to never hold in a sneeze. The air from a sneeze travels up to one hundred miles per hour. "Holding in a sneeze potentially can cause fractures in the nasal cartilage, nosebleeds, burst eardrums, hearing loss, vertigo, detached retinas, or temporary swelling called facial emphysema" (197). Finally, I learned a few more colorful phrases to describe vomit - uneat, technicolor yawn, and spill the groceries. Interesting stuff, huh? The dialogue between the writers is absolutely hilarious. For those who may be put off by all this, remember that, in one sense, this is simply science. And, on an even deeper level, this can contribute to philosophical meanderings. Consider the exchange between Mark and Billy: "Mark: we're hard-wire to launch our genes into the future before we decay in a puddle of excrement and putrescence??? You think THAT's sophomoric? That's the whole comic tragedy of life! And the central thesis of our book, yo" (161).