The Wounding and Healing of Desire

The Wounding and Healing of Desire: Weaving Heaven and Earth - Wendy Farley
Our wills are weak against the force of desire. “If we wish to change what we do, we must change what we desire. The power of desire is such that only a stronger desire can displace desire” (1-2). The problem is that our desires are insatiable “not because the goods of the world are too few, too uniform, or too bland…. The dissatisfaction of desire arises from desire itself; it cannot be satisfied with any finite thing or even an infinite number of finite things, and the attempt to achieve satisfaction can be destructive” (13). Our problem is radical egocentrism. “It seems nearly impossible to avoid the slide from the particular vividness of my own experience to the feeling that my ego is the center of the cosmos… In point of fact, my pains, ambitions, hopes, sorrows, fears—my life itself—are not one iota more important than anyone else’s. I can easily write those words and even believe them. But the smallest pain or inconvenience drives from my mind the difficulties others are suffering.” (33) Because we feel that the rejection of egocentrism would result in the destruction of the ego rather than its liberation “[t]here is in us great resistance to the eros that frees us from our preoccupation with ourselves and opens us to love” (43). The depth and tenacity of the passions, which protect the ego, make it impossible to turn away from egocentrism through a simple act of the will. The illusion of egocentrism is deeply rooted in us. “[O]ur experience continually burdens us with the terrible news that we are more real than anything else” (50). “We feel as if the dislocation of the habit of egocentricity would be tantamount to ceasing to be a person altogether” (131). Our survival does not depend on egocentrism – but try telling the ego that! The problem is not the ego, but the ego’s way of experiencing the world that must be transformed by desire (133). This book offers profound reflections on the desires, the passions, contemplation, and the freedom to love and be loved.