Alzheimer's, A Love Story: One Year in My Husband's Journey - Ann Davidson
Having read the followup book, A Curious Kind of Widow, where Ann describes her experience of Julian's final years, I wanted to read this book which chronicles the first year of Julian's decline. In the opening pages, Ann breaks down with a psychiatrist: "He's going down... Both of us are going down." In that moment she has an ephiphany: "And in a flash I saw clearly that what I wanted was to 'go down' in a spirit of love - not fear and anger, no matter what transpired" (xvi). Ann is brave enough to recount her journey, which includes moments of fear and anger, and yet in the midst of it all, she never fails to love Julian and be there for him. As Julian's decline made mundane tasks difficult (for example, he can't distinguish a toothbrush from a razor, and puts his socks in the dishwasher) Ann begins to find peace in accepting Julian as he is. She never fails to appreciate his past accomplishments. In one place, she writes, "Why, when we're about to lose something, do we suddenly appreciate it most?" (134) As Julian's mind slips away, Ann comes to recognize their deep emotional attachment. After a rare lucid moment in which Julian says to Ann, "I know we'll always be together," Ann thinks: "Each of us knew we were deeply loved" (185). Even when all else is lost, there is a deep comfort - I would say, a divine comfort - in knowing that someone will always be with you and that you will always be loved! Ann remains true to her desire to "go down" in love.