“You shall be my witnesses…” – Jesus (Acts 1:8)

Witnessing has been treated as a verb – something we do and then get back to daily life. Recently, though, Christians seem to be emphasizing being a witness. Here the emphasis is on who we are…

It’s becoming pretty clear that being a witness for Jesus involves much more than simply doing witnessing for a certain period of time. Being a witness involves everything we do and say in the course of everyday living, and love must be at the center of it all.[1]

In spite of all the guilt traditional evangelists attempt to pile upon us because of our lack of “boldness” in Christian witness, we can stop trying to be something we are not. God can use us – our unique personalities, our present circumstances, and our specific gifts and perspectives – as a witness of his grace. The belief that God will work in and through us in the common contours of our daily lives is at the heart of “ordinary evangelism.”

Ordinary evangelism is not nearly as exciting, glamorous, or sensational as confrontational evangelism. However, its scope is far more extensive; it is applicable in every area of life and not just the high-drama of bold confrontation. Because of this, ordinary evangelism cannot afford to be limited to a pre-scripted presentation or pre-packaged product. It must be flexible enough to fit every possible situation.

On the surface, ordinary evangelism may not seem as effective as confrontational evangelism. Yet, any fruit of confrontational evangelism is most likely built upon countless seeds sown in ordinary evangelism.

In this article, I want to offer principles to help shape an alternative to confrontational evangelism. We begin with the most important principle which sets the stage for the remaining insights: In order to practice ordinary evangelism we must “cut the drama”! Unless we do this, we will never learn to cherish God’s work in the ordinary.

Cut the Drama

Let’s face it: Evangelicals have a love affair with drama. We are characteristically non-contemplative, and thus, we have a difficult time seeing God in the ordinary. We generally look for God only in extraordinary events and unusual (read: highly-dramatic) circumstances. This is demonstrated in what passes for Christian “testimony” in many evangelical churches:

The church has its own ad for escaping the ordinary. On Sunday mornings, put-together people parade across platforms and stages, exhorting us to be extraordinary. To be people who accomplish unusual deeds for God.

Can you imagine a testimony service during which a mom got up and told how she listened to a neighbor across the backyard fence or about the time she was unusually kind to the grumpy elderly woman she runs into regularly at the store? This is supposed to inspire me? You were kind? C’mon! Where’s the sizzle, the special effects?[2]

If God is primarily encountered in extraordinary and unusual events, what role does God have in the ordinary contours of daily living? We need a perspective that celebrates God in the commonplace or our witness of God’s love will be limited to extreme situations of high drama. Jim Henderson is right: we are “addicted to drama and are allergic to the ordinary. We need to embrace the ordinary – which does not mean that our lives have to be boring.”[3] Embracing, celebrating, and communicating God in the ordinary is the fuel of ordinary evangelism.

Narrow Your Focus

“You can change the world!” It is exciting to think about changing the world; but it is not realistic. It is a great idea, but highly impractical, and totally improbable. The world is far too big and complex to bend to our small and simple whims. Although it is inspiring and motivational to imagine such a far-reaching impact, we must be realistic. Instead of changing the world, we must focus on what we can really do. For this reason, Jim Henderson encourages us to “Think small. Don’t change the world, just change something.”[4]

Instead of trying to do something we cannot, we should do what we can. If we continually set our goals so high that they are out of reach, then we will remain in a perpetual state of frustration accompanied by a nagging sense of guilt.

St. Therese of Lisieux, Jesus’ “little flower” and advocate of the “little way” of childlike faith, provides helpful insight in this regard. She taught that it is not great deeds that get the Lord’s attention, but small deeds done with great love. God is more concerned about the love we show than the size of our effort. God is like this because he knows that, ultimately, love is the only real positive change agent in the world anyway.

In order to maintain St. Therese’s perspective, we must believe that God is at work in the ordinary – in our small, simple acts of love. We must believe that God will work through a simple “thank you,” an encouraging word, even a simple smile. Though we cannot change the world, we can, through the simplest acts of kindness, change someone’s world. When our focus is narrowed like this, we are finally in a position to accomplish something. As Archbishop Oscar Romero wrote, “We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something and do it very well.”

Count Conversations Rather Than Conversions

We need to focus on making connections with others rather than forcing decisions. Jim Henderson argues that one of the main problems with traditional evangelism is that we are pressured “to close the deal with people, and we haven’t been shown the value and importance of simply connecting with people in a normal, ordinary way.”[5] In confrontational evangelism, connections are not counted; only deal-closers prove one’s witness was a success. Ultimately, however, the connections we establish with others have more spiritual impact than forcing a decision on someone and then moving onto another target.

Ordinary evangelism demands that we reevaluate our standards for success. Our focus must not be on numbers, but on loving and serving people. Too often, confrontational evangelism evaluates its success on the numbers of decisions it generates. Instead, we must evaluate our success by how faithful we have been to demonstrate the life and love of Christ; in other words, by the connections we have made. The real test of Christian witness is not how many decisions we gather, but how well we love others. One way to evaluate this is to answer the question: Is our Christian faith making us a better or worse neighbor? Great sports professionals do not focus on their statistics; they simply focus on playing well. We must do the same.

When connections are counted as Christian witness, we can relax and allow a relationship to develop at its own pace. We can speak about all issues of life rather than only “ultimate issues” of heaven and hell. We are free to discuss rather than argue. We can give attention rather than just pass on information. We can share our lives rather than simply share a canned presentation.

Conversations about ordinary life and not just ultimate issues. Pre-scripted evangelism has little place for small talk. “At some point Christians got the idea that the only kind of talk that counts (when it comes to evangelizing) is ‘the speech’ – you know, the contrived presentation that supposedly leads to a conversion.”[6] This emphasis on “the speech” makes us think that small talk is useless. But small talk is vital to building relationships.

We do not talk with others merely to communicate information; we talk with others in order to build relationships. Speech is not simply a means to pass on data; it is the way to share ourselves with others. We are not modems transferring electronic bits; we are people in need of compassionate love. When we actually take the time to listen to others speak about ordinary aspects of their lives, we find that we share many of the same struggles, concerns, desires, and dreams. We have more in common than we often realize and small talk opens us up to this discovery.

Contrary to confrontational evangelism, Christian witness is not simply about ultimate issues like heaven and hell. Most people we encounter are not concerned about such far-flung possibilities. Most are simply doing their best to survive in the world in which they live. When they do think about God and spirituality, they are not just interested in knowing the meaning of life; they want to experience meaning in life. They want to know meaning, purpose, and love in the ordinary contours of daily living. They are not as interested in life after death as much as the possibility of life before death.

When the ordinary aspects of daily living are the topics of discussion, we are forced to develop a more holistic way of communicating about our faith. It is easy to speak about our faith in light of ultimate issues such as heaven and hell. It is much harder to bring that faith to bear upon our immediate reality. How does your faith impact your daily life? What difference does it make in the way you wake up, eat breakfast, prepare for the day, go to work or school, eat lunch, raise your children, give to charity, spend your leisure time, participate in society, etc.? Faith that is only valuable for the future, and has little bearing on the present, is not a faith worth having – and most people see right through it! They see such faith as an escapist fantasy that prevents people from dealing with the harsh realities of daily life. So, in one sense, it is much easier to isolate faith’s significance only to ultimate issues such as heaven and hell. Integrating faith into daily life is much more difficult. (In the next article we will consider the art of communicating faith in ordinary life.)

Dialogue and not arguments. For some evangelists, the Christian gospel is little more than an argument. These Christians defend the faith by means of a passionate series of logical statements guaranteed to undermine the fragile arguments of unbelievers. Though these exchanges can sometimes be of value, they have little to do with the “apologetic” demanded by the New Testament.

1 Peter 3:15 – often used by Christian apologists as the basis for their work – is not about amassing an arsenal of logical grenades to destroy the barricades of unbelief. Instead, it is about setting apart Christ as Lord in one’s heart and expressing this through committed faith in the face of unjust suffering and continued good deeds in a hostile environment. Then, if anyone asks how such a hopeful stance can be held in such a difficult climate, Peter calls his readers to “give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence” (1 Peter 3:15).

No matter how difficult circumstances get and how dangerous the opposition is, Christians are called to respond with an attitude of gentleness and honor toward others. Pastors are to share these same qualities toward those hostile to the Christian faith: “And the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition” (2 Timothy 2:24-25a).

Though there is a place for argument and correction in dialogue, the confrontational model has biased us to think that this is the primary element of Christian witness. It is not. Jim Henderson suggests that we can either “connect” or “correct” others, but we can rarely do both at the same time.[7] He argues that connections are more important and provide a greater opportunity for influence.

It would help if we viewed witness more as “spiritual direction” rather than “shepherding.” A few decades back, “shepherding” was a popular movement among evangelicals. Mature Christians would “shepherd” younger Christians. They would give them specific instructions concerning who to date, who to marry, where to work, where to live, etc. Younger Christians who questioned their counsel were accused of insubordination.

It is tragic that evangelicals weren’t familiar with the traditional idea of “spiritual direction.” A spiritual director does not demand anything of his or her subject – often called a spiritual friend. Instead, the spiritual director listens carefully to discern where and how God is working in another’s life and then asks questions to gently prompt the subject to be more sensitive to God’s work and leading in his or her life. This is what the best ordinary evangelists do: they listen for where and how God may be working in another’s life.

Conversations that are mutually beneficial. We must never arrogantly assume that we have nothing to receive from others – even unbelievers. Especially unbelievers! “Often we act as if we have all the spiritual truth and no longer need to search for spiritual truth, and anyone who disagrees with us is wrong.”[8] In our ordinary attempts at evangelism, we will receive just as much – if not more – than we give. We will learn from our interaction with others. As we reach out to others, we will discover that evangelism is part of our discipleship. It spiritual forms us into better lovers of God and others.

No matter how many books I read, how many church services I attend and how many Christians I interact with regularly, there are lessons I can learn only when I reach out to non-Christians. It is then that I am forced to articulate my views in ways that people who are quite different from me can understand. That I am challenged to love people who aren't easy to befriend and love. That I must read and reread Scripture to find answers to difficult questions. That I am required to listen intently. That I am more motivated to pray, because I realize how little I can accomplish on my own. That I become more aware of the weaknesses in me that only God can strengthen. That I am reminded of my need to walk in faith outside the boat, as Peter did. That I am aware that everything I say and do is observed and may make an eternal difference in someone's life. That I realize how little I know and become free to learn from others, including people whose lives are radically different from mine.

In short, when I share God's love and truth with people around me, I grow closer to him and my faith deepens. I am greatly stretched, often in uncomfortable ways that prove to be beneficial in the end.[9]

Conversations that give others space. Conversations can go in many different directions. Sometimes issues will be brought up for which we have no answer. Unlike confrontational evangelism, which seeks to close the deal with a nice clean resolution, ordinary evangelism leaves room for further thought, reflection, and response.

Sometimes it is more important to keep the conversation going than to resolve every issue that arises. I suppose we faith-sharers need faith – faith that God is working in the person’s life from many directions; faith that it is not all up to me and that it does not all depend on this one friendship; faith that God will not give up on the person: faith that God’s Spirit is so pervasive that even after desire recedes, it will resurge again.[10]

Ordinary evangelists view themselves as midwives more than salespeople. “The evangelist is never coercive, pushy, combative; rather, she is patient and gentle like a midwife, knowing that the giving of life takes time and cannot be rushed without potentially lethal damage.”[11]

Conversations count! Christian witness does not have to be argumentative, answer every question, or “close the deal” to count as effective evangelism. In our contemporary society, conversations count more than ever. In our fast-paced, frenetic culture, very few people know how to listen – really listen – to others. We simply do not take the time to get to know others. Instead, we make snap judgments based on first impressions. We quickly decide – usually due to self-interest – who is “worth” our time and attention and who isn’t.

It takes real effort, sacrifice, and patience to carve out time for others and really listen to them without judgment. Though on the surface ordinary evangelism may seem to involve little effort, the truth is that it demands great effort and continual attention to one’s situation and others’ needs.

Contrary to bold recounting of a canned presentation, ordinary evangelism calls us to wisely, discerningly, and lovingly engage with people in the world in a way that reflects the love, grace, and goodness of God. Ordinary evangelism seeks to live out Paul’s admonition in Colossians 4:5-6: “Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person” (see also Ephesians 4:29).

At its most basic level, ordinary evangelism offers attention and not just information. It seeks to befriend rather than besiege; to connect rather than confront. Jim Henderson calls these ordinary attempts “free attention giveaways.” In reference to Jesus’ teaching that “whoever in the name of a disciple gives to one of these little ones even a cup of cold water to drink, truly I say to you he shall not lose his reward” (Matthew 10:42), Henderson writes, “Our culture’s equivalent of a cup of cold water is attention.”[12] We must never forget that a compassionate, listening presence is Christian testimony. There is no record of Jesus preaching at Matthew’s party because “just being with the missing was a sermon.”[13]

Share the Gospel According to You

“Having thus a fond affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us” (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

Witness is greater than a canned presentation of facts. We are called to imitate Paul and share the gospel and our lives. In ordinary evangelism, we demonstrate how the gospel has impacted our lives in the most fundamental way. If God does not meet us here – if the reality of God is irrelevant in the humdrum routines of our daily responsibilities and privileges – then our faith is escapist fantasy.

Ordinary evangelists are able to offer to others something they desperately need to see: a real person with real struggles and real faith to provide guidance in the midst of real challenges. People need to see this reality or faith remains elusive to them. Their perception of Christianity remains clouded without contact with average people who truly attempt to live out their faith in the real world.

This calls for us to simply “be real.” “You don’t start by being religious; you start by being human, relational, neighborly, friendly.”[14] We are sharing our lives, not a program; love, not laws; amazement, not an agenda; joy, not a canned speech. If we are to share real faith, our lives must be real. “If being Christians meant we were the most real people on earth rather than the most religious, evangelism as a program would disappear forever.”[15]  For this reason, Henderson invites us to “forget the speech, the pitch, and the program. Practice being ordinary.”[16]

Practice Deliberate Acts of Kindness

It is “the kindness of God that leads people to repentance” (Romans 2:4). Christian witness is not just expressed in gracious words but in good deeds. “Most of us remember the ‘deliberate acts of kindness’ people do for us… This isn’t a formula. It is simply our conscious decision to help meet people’s needs the way we’d like them to help us if we were in their shoes.”[17]

Practicing deliberate acts of kindness is simply living out the faith we possess. Refusing to help needy people in our sphere of influence is tantamount to denying the faith: “whoever has the world’s goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us now love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth” (1 John 3:17-18; cf. James 2:14-17).

There is nothing glamorous, sensational, or exciting about meeting simple needs. And yet, this is the very thing that distinguishes the sheep from the goats in Jesus’ teaching about Judgment Day. The sheep, in contrast to the goats, are those who have helped the needy in regard to providing food, drink, housing, clothing, and visiting the sick and imprisoned (Matthew 25:31-46). This is the “witness” of God’s people. In Jesus’ teaching, we are confronted with the eternal significance of small, simple acts of kindness to needy people.

Trust God is at Work in the Ordinary

In order for us to embrace ordinary evangelism, we must first believe that God is at work in the ordinary. We must believe that God wants us to bring his gracious presence with us in everything we do to everyone we meet. We must believe that this is not simply a matter of boldly presenting a few select facts; we must embrace that this is a matter of purposely seeking to share our lives with others for their good and God’s glory. We are called to be like Jesus: “For Jesus, the question wasn’t, how do I get into heaven? but how do I bring heaven here?”[18]

Of all people, we should have the faith to believe that God is at work in all things, including the vast bulk of life – the ordinary! We do not bring God anywhere in our witness because God is already at work when we arrive. Instead, we come in order to shed light on God’s work.

[Paul] tells them, “[God] has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.” [Acts 14:17]

Paul essentially asks his audience: Have you had enough food? Who do you think it comes from?

Has it rained so your crops could grow? Who do you think did that?

Have you ever laughed? Who do you think made that possible?

Missions [and thus, Christian witness] then is less about the transportation of God from one place to another and more about the identification of a God who is already there.[19]

But the most important preparation to ordinary evangelism is our own personal experience of God at work in our own ordinary, common lives. If we are unable to see God in our present circumstances of temporary importance then we certainly are in no position to encourage others to see God in future circumstances of eternal significance.

The challenge of ordinary evangelism is so much greater than confrontational evangelism. There is no pre-scripted presentation to fall back on and no pre-packaged product to pitch. There is only one God-saturated and God-oriented life to share with another in all the unrehearsed sloppiness of daily living we all find ourselves in.

Indeed, the greatest challenge of ordinary evangelism may be that we have to admit that a vibrant, living relationship with God does not exempt us from the ordinary challenges of everyday life. We are sloppy saints who do not have all the answers, who do not always get it right, who are not always confident, successful, faithful, or even grateful. We are prone to wander, slow to learn, in constant need of God’s grace, mercy, and love. Confrontational evangelism often encourages us to think we have it all together. Ordinary evangelism is not afraid to admit that we don’t – but God does, and God is worthy of our trust and love.

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© Richard J. Vincent, 2005