Toward a Forgiven and Forgiving Community

The first of Jesus’ seven “words” from the cross is, “Father, forgiven them; for they do not know what they are doing.” This word – like all of Christ’s words from the cross – is a revelation of God. It reveals God’s radical forgivenness in the midst of radical sin, inhumanity, and injustice. Jesus pleads for divine forgiveness not only in spite of human ignorance, but precisely because of it. Before there is any hint of human remorse, enlightenment, or repentance, Jesus forgives others. This “preemptive forgivenness” reveals God’s amazing grace and steadfast love – a love that will not let go, no matter what! Once and for all, we are confronted with the fact that God is a forgiving God who deeply desires reconciliation with humanity.

This revelation is not surprising. It is a consistent biblical theme. Repeatedly throughout the Old Testament, God is revealed as a gracious, forgiving God. Though God’s people regularly betray the covenant and sin against God and one another, God’s steadfast love remains.

God’s revelation of glory to Moses involves prominently declaring the truth of God’s forgiveness: “I am the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin” (Exodus 34:6-7a).

This divine self-declaration is repeated throughout the Old Testament scriptures. In Psalm 103, the declaration is followed by this worshipful commentary:

He does not deal with us according to our sins,
   nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as the heavens are high above the earth,
   so great is his steadfast love towards those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
   so far he removes our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion for his children,
   so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him.
For he knows how we were made;
   he remembers that we are dust. (Psalm 103:10-14)

Jesus’ word of forgiveness from the cross is not the first time God’s radical forgiveness is revealed – it is simply the clearest revelation of this profound truth. Jesus embodies divine forgiveness throughout his entire ministry – even to the point of death on the cross. He incarnates God’s mercy, compassion, love and forgiveness. In Christ, God’s forgiveness is not simply heard, it is seen in a way that we can both fathom and embrace.

Jesus’ word of forgiveness is not only a revelation of God; it is also a revelation of humanity. Through his declaration of forgiveness in the face of radical sin, Jesus shows us a way of life that we, his followers, are called to imitate.

Throughout his ministry, Jesus taught of the need to reflect God’s forgiveness and love to others. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). At the cross, in the face of unspeakable evil and hostile enemies, Jesus perfectly embodies his teaching.

In his teaching and in his life, Jesus gives us a model to aspire to. The Apostle Paul calls us to incarnate God’s forgiveness in the creation of a forgiven and forgiving community:

Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 4:31-5:2, emphasis mine)

As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:12-14, emphasis mine)

God’s grace is transforming grace. Our taste of God’s grace in Christ is meant to lead us to reflect God’s radical graciousness to others. God’s forgiving love is meant to melt and transform our hearts – not excuse our actions. In response to God’s grace we do not say, “God forgives, that’s his job,” but instead cry out, “Because God forgives us, therefore we will forgive others.”

We are forgiven and forgiving people. Our experience of the first (divine forgiveness) should quite naturally lead to the second (forgiving others). These two experiences are meant to be inseparable. Because of God’s forgiveness in Christ, the church is called to be a community of radical love and gracious forgiveness. For this reason, we daily pray as our Lord Jesus taught: “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”

A Community of Forgiveness

In order to nurture a community of forgiveness, it would be helpful to consider a few aspects of forgiveness. The following is a superficial outline, but it may help to guide future discussions.

Forgiveness is costly. C. S. Lewis writes, “Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”[1] Forgiveness is often a difficult and painful expression of love. This is nowhere more evident than at the cross of Christ. The forgiveness Jesus offers comes from his absorption of the sin of others.

In the act of forgiveness, we absorb the pain and suffering inflicted by another person’s wrongdoing. We refuse to return the pain or hold it against another. The sin is not forgotten as if it doesn’t really matter. Instead, we willingly refuse to hold it against the other, that is, to view the other through the lens of past actions alone. By doing this, we risk believing in the possibility of a new future not bound by the past. But this is only done at a personal cost to ourselves. We pay a price for forgiveness – the price of love. By absorbing the pain and refusing to retaliate, the sin effectively “stops” with us.

Forgiveness is necessary to healthy relationships/community. No relationship can thrive for long without forgiveness. Without forgiveness, one mistake holds the potential to tear a relationship apart.

Some may remember the key line from the 1970 movie, Love Story: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” The idea was that love alone is sufficient and therefore no apologies are necessary in a truly loving relationship. In the movie, one partner died before they had the opportunity to test out this theory beyond the heated passions of romantic fervor. One assumes that had they experienced a longer relationship, this theory would have been substantially modified!

In spite of the unbridled romanticism of Love Story, we must take responsibility for our harmful behavior. Marriage counselor, Barbara Bartlein, puts it well,

Being in love means saying you are sorry—sorry for things you did, sorry for things you did not do, and sorry for things you may not even know about. You say you are sorry if your spouse is hurt, sorry that he or she is angry and sorry you cannot help more. You say you are sorry the world is such a tough place, that we have to pay taxes, and the car won’t start. You say you are sorry that the kids grew up so fast and not fast enough. You say you are sorry when parents are sick and sorry your partner has to work so hard. And you say you are sorry that life is so unfair and then ask what else you can do. In a happy marriage, you move away from “who is right” and “who is wrong” to “who is hurt” and “how can I help.” And you do say, “I’m sorry” if you think it will help.[2]

This is also true for community life. Without regular confession of sin community life crumbles. We are broken people. We hurt others – sometimes unintentionally, sometimes intentionally. In the church, we admit our sin and brokenness; we admit our need for forgiveness. Our capacity for forgiveness – fueled by the gracious forgiveness of God toward us and a desire to reflect it to others – creates a forgiving community. We live together as broken-but-healing people – a forgiven and forgiving people.

Forgiveness must become a whole way of life. Forgiveness is not a one time action or an isolated feeling or thought, but a consistent stance toward others. It is a spiritual practice, a holy habit.

The training ground for the discipline of forgiveness is the church. The training exercise is the daily praying of the “Lord’s Prayer,” especially the phrase, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” In this spiritual exercise, we admit to God and to one another that our experience of God’s forgiveness and our expression of God’s forgiveness to others are inseparably interlinked. Our personal experience of God’s grace is intended to overflow to others, both within and without our community. We daily confess our brokenness and admit that we expect to both sin and be sinned against in the course of our daily lives. We also expect to forgive!

Like marital vows that speak of all possible extremes (for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer) we daily prepare for the worst and the best by praying the Lord’s Prayer. Jesus’ call for us to forgive those who sin against us “seventy-seven” times reveals how deeply woven in our lives this discipline should be:

The practice of forgiveness also calls us to develop habits by which to unlearn sin and learn holy living. Doing something on seventy times seven occasions, after all, would begin to weave it into the patterns of our lives (Matthew 18:21-22). Our broken ways can become habitual, and our forgiveness needs to become habitual too.[3]

Admittedly, forgiveness is hard. We often don’t want to forgive others, or ask for forgiveness, even though we know we should. Since it is such a hard discipline, C. S. Lewis argues that perhaps we should start small. “When you start mathematics you do not being with the calculus; you begin with simple addition. In the same way, if we really want (but all depends on really wanting) to learn how to forgive, perhaps we had better start with something easier than the Gestapo. One might start with forgiving one’s husband or wife, or parents or children … for something they have done or said in the last week.”[4]

Practicing forgiveness promotes christlikeness. By engaging in the spiritual discipline of forgiveness, we become more like Christ, that is, more loving, gracious, compassionate, and authentic. Orthodox writer, Frederica Mathewes-Green suggests that his may be one of the very reasons we find ourselves together in community:

Why are we humans stuck here on earth with all these other people, anyway? If God's sole purpose in creating us is to forge a relationship of love with us, why doesn't he just go ahead and take us home?

Maybe God has a subtle purpose in leaving us here to rub up against each other, getting our pride bent, learning to forgive, learning to ask for forgiveness.[5]

She goes on to speak of a beautiful Lenten ritual that her church practices that brings everyone together through the mutual practice of forgiveness:

Once a year, on the night that Great Lent begins, we line the interior of the church in a big circle. The ends of the circle then overlap, as the last person in line faces the first, the priest. “Please forgive me, my brother (or sister), for any way that I have offended you,” the priest says, crossing himself and bowing to touch the ground. The parishioner responds, “I forgive you.” He or she then asks and receives the same forgiveness from the priest. The two exchange the kiss of peace, then move on to the next people in line. Gradually the two ends of the line loop to meet again, until every person in the church has asked for and received forgiveness from every other. There are a lot of tears, and a lot of smiles.[6]

Ordinary People, Extraordinary Grace

It may seem impossible to become a forgiving community, but by the grace of God, the love of Christ, and the power of the Spirit, it is possible. “Ordinary people, touched by the power of the Cross, can become extraordinary in their capacity to love and forgive.”[7]

Examples abound in scripture: John, the Son of Thunder, who at one point during Jesus’ ministry desires to reign fire upon his enemies, is transformed into the Beloved Disciple who speaks strongly and tenderly of the need to love one another. While being stoned to death, Stephen, an early church leader, kneels down and prays, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:59-60). The aged Apostle Paul, abandoned and alone in a Roman dungeon, complains in a letter to Timothy that “all have deserted me” but then concludes, “May it not be counted against them” (2 Timothy 4:16).

Having tasted God’s forgiveness in Christ, these disciples practiced forgiveness – even toward their enemies.

Conclusion

The church is a forgiven and forgiving community. We must never separate these two. Having been graced by God, we must be gracious to one another. Having been forgiven, we must be forgiving. Obviously, this is not achieved all at once, but it comes about through the slow Spirit-led process of reflecting upon the grace of Jesus and the glory of the cross.

What will a forgiven and forgiving community look like? Reread Ephesians 4:31-5:2 and Colossians 3:12-14 once again for a glimpse (found above).

Holy Jesus,
your forgiving love saves and disturbs me.
Without it, I am lost.
Yet, if I receive it, I must practice it.
By your mercy make me merciful;
By your forgiveness, help me to forgive as I have been forgiven. Amen.[8]

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© Richard J. Vincent, 2008